Should grandparents babysit for free, or is it fair for them to ask for payment? One family’s heated debate over this question has sparked a firestorm online.
A 29-year-old mom recently shared her frustration on a Reddit forum after her own mother, 64, refused to babysit her newborn—unless she was paid $20 an hour.
In her post, the young mom explained that she needed childcare so she could return to work. She assumed her mom, a longtime stay-at-home parent, would be willing to help. But her mother had a different perspective.
“She told me she’s too old for this and that she already raised her kids,” the mom wrote. Instead of stepping in, her mother suggested a “traditional” setup where the young mom stayed home while her partner worked.
But the mom wasn’t in a position to quit her job. “I’m the higher breadwinner, and we’re already struggling with debt,” she explained. When she pushed back, her mom made it clear: babysitting would cost $20 an hour. On top of that, she demanded late fees and a full set of baby gear at her house, including a car seat, stroller, and bottles.
Faced with mounting costs, the young mom considered putting her baby in daycare instead. But before making a decision, she turned to Reddit for advice—only to find wildly mixed reactions.
Some people sided with the grandmother, arguing that childcare is exhausting work and that she had every right to refuse or ask for payment. “She’s 64, retired, and doesn’t want to be a full-time nanny. That’s fair,” one commenter wrote.
Others weren’t as sympathetic. “Maybe don’t have a child if you can’t afford childcare,” one person bluntly commented. Another added, “If you planned to return to work, you should have discussed this with your mom before having the baby.”
Still, some Redditors took a more practical approach, offering alternative solutions. “Start building your own childcare network,” one suggested. “Check out nurseries or connect with other moms and trade babysitting.”
The debate highlights a growing generational divide when it comes to family support and childcare expectations. Should grandparents pitch in for free, or is it reasonable to ask for payment? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
