What Exactly is Passive Aggression?
Ever met someone who seems calm all the time, like nothing ever bothers them? They might actually be dealing with passive aggression. On the surface, they seem relaxed, but there’s often a hidden layer of anger behind their actions.
Take relationships, for example. Dealing with a passive-aggressive partner can be tough. They insist they’re fine, don’t show anger outwardly, and won’t admit they’re upset. Yet, you can sense their anger simmering below the surface.
Now, think about yourself. Do you deny being angry even when you’re furious inside? Passive aggression can quietly destroy relationships.
In this article, I’ll share simple steps to help you manage your anger. If these steps don’t work, it might be time to see a psychiatrist before things get worse.
Step 1: Identify Your Anger
The first step is recognizing when you’re angry. Once you identify it, you can start to change your behavior. Try looking at yourself from someone else’s perspective. This can help you see things from a different angle. Another way is to keep a journal. Writing down your feelings and actions can help you understand the real you.
Step 2: Find Your Triggers
There’s always a reason behind anger. This reason is called a trigger. When you recognize what’s triggering you, you can start to figure out why you’re angry. Writing these down can reveal patterns that might help later.
Step 3: Write It Down
If you remember every detail of your emotions, you might not need a journal. But writing things down can help you understand your true feelings. You don’t need a special method—just record what happened when you were triggered. Who were you with? What’s your relationship with them? Did they try to manipulate you? How did you respond? Writing it down can lighten the load you carry inside.
Step 4: Don’t Bottle Up Your Anger
In passive aggression, your anger stays hidden. You might act cool on the outside while burning up inside. Maybe you think it’s wrong to be angry, or you don’t get the chance to show it. But remember, passive aggression is worse than other types of anger.
Step 5: Dig Deep
Accept that you’re human and it’s okay to feel angry. But you need to identify your anger. Sometimes, you’re just mad without knowing why. When that happens, it’s important to figure out the reason. This takes effort—you’ll need to self-reflect and understand yourself. Then, you can find ways to control your anger.
Step 6: Speak Up
Here’s the most important point: talk straight. Passive aggression happens when you can’t express your anger openly. If someone annoys you or triggers your anger, it’s your job to speak up. Let them know how their actions make you feel, but do it in a way that isn’t offensive.
If you’re angry with yourself, that can also lead to passive aggression. In those moments, talk to yourself.
Step 7: Convince Yourself
This takes practice, but it works. When you realize you’re angry, ask yourself why. What’s causing it? What can you do to stop being angry? The truth is, only you can save yourself from passive aggression. When you start convincing yourself and finding solutions, you can begin to move away from passive aggression.
