Would you change your last name when you get married? Or should tradition take a backseat to personal choice? One couple’s fiery debate on this age-old topic has taken the internet by storm— and people have thoughts.
Ethan Payne, best known as a member of the YouTube group Sidemen, and his girlfriend, Faith Kelly, recently got into a heated discussion about last names on their podcast, Growing Paynes. The two have been dating since 2021 and share a daughter, Olive Ottilie Payne, born in 2022. But when the topic of marriage came up, things got tense.
In a viral clip from their latest episode, Faith suggests that Ethan hasn’t proposed yet because she wants to keep her last name in some way. “Because [I] want to be Kelly-Payne,” she says.
@paynesclips FAITH DOESN’T WANT ETHANS NAME! #behzinga #growingpaynes ♬ original sound – Growing Paynes Clips
Ethan, clearly not thrilled, responds, “Faith doesn’t want to take my name, and that irks me.”
Faith quickly clarifies that she’s fine taking his surname—she just wants to keep hers too. “I don’t want to lose my association with my family,” she explains.
But Ethan isn’t convinced. He argues that taking a husband’s last name is “how it should be done” and goes as far as to say that if Faith hyphenates, he’d feel like she’s only “half his wife.” He even jokes, “You’re bottling it, that’s what it is.”
Social Media Reacts—And It’s Intense
Once their conversation hit social media, the internet exploded. Many viewers saw Ethan’s stance as a major red flag.
“That’s a bit of a red flag from Ethan NGL (not gonna lie),” one TikTok user commented.
Another agreed: “She’s had her last name longer than she’s had him. It’s just a name. Why is this even a debate?”
the idea of women having to change their names, have kids, be maternal, the whole nuclear family thing is do outdated and old fashioned, no thanks https://t.co/QFRdjzTsAa
— 𝓛𝓲𝓿🪩 (@visionsofaliv) September 24, 2023
Over on Twitter, someone pointed out, “Women have to change their names, have kids, be maternal, the whole nuclear family thing… It’s outdated. No thanks.”
I literally have a double barrel surname because my mum wouldn't drop hers when she got married to my dad… And not only are they still together but I'm glad she didn't. It's a total non-issue? Why must the male erase part of the woman's identity? Marriage is equality, not power https://t.co/SGsYfCYvIH
— Olly (@ollyw1ll) September 24, 2023
Others shared personal stories, like one user who said: “My mom didn’t drop her last name when she married my dad, and guess what? They’re still happily married. It’s a total non-issue.”
Not Everyone Thinks Ethan Is Wrong
But not everyone was on Faith’s side. Some users defended Ethan, saying his feelings were valid.
“I get why people are mad, but they both have preferences. It’s not like he’s forcing her,” one TikToker wrote.
Another argued, “Ethan is right. If she’s going to say ‘Faith Payne’ anyway, what’s the point of keeping Kelly?”
More Women Are Keeping Their Last Names
Faith isn’t alone in wanting to keep her maiden name. According to The Independent, women choosing to add their husband’s name rather than replace theirs jumped 30% between 2020 and 2021. That’s a huge shift from 2016 when 90% of women fully adopted their husband’s surname.
So, what do you think? Should women still be expected to change their last names after marriage, or is it time to leave that tradition behind? Let us know in the comments!
